turning 40

I have decided to make my blog private not sure I can really speak my mind and wonder if others are reading it or not. Lately I have been very down. I am sure it is because I have not had very large amount of training this week, volume wise, and I am gonna be turning 40 on Monday. I hate birthdays just so you know. I tried to do something nice for my twin sister and I am finding that people are very selfish and not true friends. I am realizing that people do not care about anyone but themselves. This is not new to me I just seem to forget from time to time. Not only am I reminded of this but I feel that people do not like to see you happy or successful. If you are then they somehow just disappear from your life. If you are struggling then they seem to want to watch you suffer and give you pretend sympathy. I feel like a lot of people have wanted to me to fail all attempts in my life and because I didn't they just don't want to be my friend anymore. I am sorry for this depressing blog.

Please know I love my family and my true friends. I am just at a low point today/ this week. It will get better just need to get past this feeling of failure, fatness, fatigue.